There is a chain of thought on my mind and it is just so difficult to express it out or pen it down. Everything is kept inside and its killing me but at the same time, I do not wish to let it out to save what's left. People says time heals everything, it will get better as each day pass, everything will pass before you know it but it never did. I am still stuck and feeling lost and confused as ever.

Just submitted a resume to a job and I hope I get it because I am really not motivated to study anymore. I used to have the drive, high determination to study to score well but ever since Uni started, I do not have that drive and determination anymore. Even Georgina said so. I have lost motivation in studying after DMS and it was a good 7 months break after the last paper before being awarded a Diploma certificate. I used to like going to school be it morning lectures or afternoon lectures, I just like going to school. I will insist that my friends to go school too because lectures are important. I used to be that way but I am no longer that Jovene anymore. I really cannot figure what changed me.

I was happy back then but recently, I have been giving problems to the people around me and became a real problematic person for myself. I really feel lousy. I feel miserable. Stress, frustration and insecurities in me kills deeply. It only drives people I love away. I apologise sincerely. I am stubborn and I think a lot by nature. I can daydream 24/7. I guess this is part of me growing up. I need to accept it, everyone around me need to accept it.

Every night before I go to bed, I will tell myself "tomorrow will be a better day" but every morning I wake up feeling lonely and gloomy about life again.
I just want to be happy, I want to feel better.
I want somebody that can understand me and so I can pour all my feelings out to.

Sigh.
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